Mike: 00:00

Hello. Hello. Hello. Speak to truth listeners. Mike here.

Mike: 00:03

Wanting to take a moment before the episode to cordially invite those who have been wanting to take the level 1 certification but haven't had the opportunity. Truth renewed is offering a hybrid class where we will have 20 in person students and 30 online spots where you can join us virtually. Our setup will allow you to see and be seen and to hear and be heard. You'll be able to fully participate in class case studies and role plays as well as participate in your own group rooms when we break off into groups. For more information, please go to truth renewed.org on our certification page.

Mike: 00:33

Read through the process and instructions so you can start the application process. If you have any questions or need help with anything, please email us at training at truth renewed.org, And we hope you can join us in September. Welcome to speak the truth, a podcast devoted to giving biblical truth for educating, equipping, and encouraging the individual and local church in counseling and discipleship. Hello. Hello.

Mike: 01:08

Hello. We are back with this encounter little miniseries at this point. This is our 2nd podcast. But, specifically, we alluded to this in the last podcast with Richard and Shelley, but we've got another person who's been a little hard for me to saddle here at the conference. But I've got Rob Rodriguez with us, and he's a part of Encounter Ministries.

Mike: 01:25

He's the actual director of biblical counseling, and he is a current student. He's a busy man. He's a father. Rob, how are we doing today?

Rob: 01:33

I'm doing great. As you said, I'm a student I'm a doctoral student at Southwestern here in Dallas. Obviously, we're coming from Texas, so I don't commute. It's definitely an online thing.

Mike: 01:42

Kinda love that online thing.

Rob: 01:43

But, yeah, I'm a father of 3 daughters and married for 25 years, so I know a little bit about marriage. I've done it well at sometimes, and I've I've suffered at other times, but I think that's probably as good as an introduction you'll get out of me without getting them in trouble with my wife.

Mike: 01:56

So No. That's good. Everything that you just said obviously was a contribution to what we're gonna be talking about in your book Harmony and Marriage. And it's not just a book. You've got resources.

Mike: 02:05

So just tell us a little bit about this resource and kinda and then we'll get into how it fits in with encounter and then just the 8 week marriage.

Rob: 02:12

Yeah. Absolutely. About a year or so ago, we were challenged. Richard specifically challenged me to come up with some curriculum so that when we do get into marriage ministry, when we dive into that, we were very intentional. We had we had material.

Rob: 02:27

We had structure. We had a plan. Both we weren't going to just be walking couples into their problems. We wanted to be able to to walk with them through their struggles. And then, obviously, we want God to be glorified through all of this, and so we wanted to make sure we did it with excellence.

Rob: 02:43

So what we we started with the book. The book covers 3 main topics, hope, influence, and fidelity that that encompass what we describe as harmony in marriage. And then we built a workbook around this. And the work book is a, it's a 8 week program. It has a 56 day devotional.

Rob: 03:02

Activities for everyday reading pulls couples through the text in a very easy fashion as you give a couple a a book. And often, one of them is a good reader, an avid reader, and they're they're done with it in a week. And then the other one is always waiting, and they're reading last minute, especially if you have a weekly thing. Oh, I didn't get to the reading or they glance through it. What this does is it takes them through maybe 20 minutes of reading every day through those 8 weeks, and so they're able to get it in bite sized chunks.

Rob: 03:28

But it also contains what they're reading and keeps it connected to the exercises and the questions we have for those days. And it's very deep, probably deeper than any marriage thing that we've gone through. We we dive right in. It requires a lot of authenticity, a lot of transparency, a lot of vulnerability to go through this. And we've just we've gotten amazing feedback so far.

Rob: 03:51

So we're really excited about it.

Mike: 03:52

That's good. So we've got the book, which isn't, a short read. It's a a couple hundred pages. Right? So it's Yes.

Mike: 03:58

It's it's good. But then you also have the facilitator guide and, like, how it would be done in groups and then the couple's workbook. So just break down in terms of usage in what context and, obviously, how you guys use it, but then gear your heart behind what you hope people would would give.

Rob: 04:11

Every couple of the book, they get the workbook. The facilitators have already gone through the program with us. So the facilitator guide is meant to just give some semblance of structure. We we've always say we're a Holy Spirit led ministry. You never know what state the couples are going to be in.

Rob: 04:27

Yeah. We don't you don't have to apply to be a part of this process. We have couples that are are newlyweds, couples that are struggling. They're they're possibly even in the middle of divorce. All sorts of couples coming into this.

Rob: 04:38

So the facilitators are given enough tools so that, one, they can keep on track, but there's enough freedom there that is a the couples ebb and flow through the process that that they don't fall off track, if you will. So the the book though, I can get a little bit into the book. Yeah. I have identified in in I've been in biblical counseling for about 15 years or so. Christian counseling for about 20.

Mike: 05:03

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So Most of it informal.

Rob: 05:06

Yes. Exactly. But I identified as the couples come through, there's 3 areas where they really struggle. And in our ministry, we've been able to validate this a lot. Where are you putting your hope right now?

Rob: 05:20

Are you putting it where where are you putting your hope right now?

Mike: 05:24

Are you putting it

Rob: 05:25

in your finances? Are you putting it in your career? Are you putting it in your children? Are you putting it in your spouse? And what does the Bible say about this?

Rob: 05:32

Our hope needs to be in Christ.

Mike: 05:33

Yeah. If our

Rob: 05:34

hope is not in Christ, then it's not in the truth. We we walk couples through that first. And then we talk about the the influence. Right? What are the influences in your life?

Rob: 05:43

If if the authority of the word of God is not the greatest influence in your life, we're going to have we're gonna have some struggles. We're gonna have some challenges. But there's another side of that. Are couples are spouses, are they influencing each other? Are they accepting influence from one another?

Rob: 05:56

Do they recognize their spouse is is also being full of and dwelling of the Holy Spirit in

Mike: 06:03

their spouse.

Rob: 06:04

Right? God will use your spouse in your life. So are you recognizing that? Are you honoring that? And then we dive into fidelity and we break down fidelity into 6 different types of fidelity.

Rob: 06:14

Most marriage ministries tend to focus predominantly on sexual fidelity and physical intimacy, not realizing that there's a lot more to wholeness to oneness than just sex and physical intimacy. Right? So we talk about experiential fidelity, we talk about emotional fidelity, we even talk about financial fidelity. We we talk about sexual we do saw we do talk about sexual fidelity, we get there. One one that a lot of couples struggle with is intellectual fidelity.

Rob: 06:42

Right? Do we actually honor our spouse's input and thoughts? And then finally, we get to spiritual fidelity. And all of these actually when we bring these together, we actually come to this this idea of oneness. And without fail, we find couples surprised.

Rob: 06:56

They're like, we did not even know we were struggling in this. We did not realize it. This is this is a big pain point for us. And the beauty of this is this actually becomes a tool in counseling. Yeah.

Rob: 07:06

Because they can come to us and say, this is where our challenges are. And now the biblical counselors on our team can actually walk them through rebuilding that area of their marriage.

Mike: 07:15

Yeah. It's good because it jump starts a lot of their thoughts. And, actually, probably to your point a moment ago, actually provides categories for them to think in that otherwise they didn't have. And I appreciate what you said because I agree a lot of the marriage material out there puts a high emphasis in real estate on the sexual side of intimacy and oneness or as you put in this book, Fidelity. And what we find out, what we were talking about a little bit before we hit the record button, is that a lot of times, marriages get very much more complicated and distressed when they started addressing these things because they realized that a lot of their relationship was based on certain things, and they were missing these other components.

Mike: 07:56

So they had a very truncated view of marriage. And so the fact that you're piecemealing these pieces together and helping them put it back together so encouraging them that, like, yeah, part of the goal is this is gonna unravel your marriage or what you thought your marriage was. You're obviously not saying that explicitly, but as they read, they're gonna quickly find out that that's what's happening. So I appreciate that. Just that focus on that and that and really the importance of that focus on that.

Mike: 08:21

Now, you you talked about the facilitator guide, and then we've got the couple's workbook. And I know, obviously, this being part of Encounter, I'll put this in the show notes as far as this being available. You said that it was they can find it on Amazon for you, you epub readers or Kindle readers. I'm one of those people. So are all 3 of these in Kindle or in electronically?

Rob: 08:41

No. The only thing that is available on Kindle at the moment is the book. We chose not to digitally publish the

Mike: 08:47

That's a really good reason. And then also too, because because there's accountability. What good is it to what we're talking about for you at the record? But that's great. You might be the reader that consumes a 280 page book, but to what point?

Mike: 08:57

Like, you gotta sit down and have relationship and kinda work through those things. There's a lot of reasons why you would choose not to do that, but I would say that's a good one to not do these.

Rob: 09:05

Yeah. We experimented the our first class. We had the workbook online Yeah. And it was hit or miss. It was it was hit or miss.

Rob: 09:12

Yeah. And but for those that don't like to read it all within the next, I think, next 4 months, we actually have someone that's doing a recording of the book. So we expect to be on Audible as well.

Mike: 09:22

Look at that. Who's voice who who's who's good? Who's doing that one?

Rob: 09:25

We have a member of our, ministry. His name is Bob Belknap. He's been in radio for at least local radio in our area for about 40, 50. I don't know. He's he's really old.

Mike: 09:34

That's really cool. He

Richard: 09:35

has some voice for radio.

Rob: 09:36

Funny. But when radio was the only thing that you had to listen to Yeah. Yeah. He has a wonderful radio voice.

Mike: 09:42

Oh, that's that's helpful for those commuters. Right? We got we got some drive times. It's good. Yeah.

Mike: 09:47

Yeah. It's good. Oh, so when is this gonna be available and where can people get this outside of getting on Amazon? But, like, through Encounter and I know, like I mentioned, this isn't just specific to Encounter, but, like, it's, 8 week marriage programs. How can people find that?

Mike: 10:02

Where do you guys have intensives where it's done in groups as well where they can go through this?

Rob: 10:07

Right now, obviously, we're still in the early stages of this. The training is through Encounter Ministry. Yeah. So it's very regional. Obviously, we're in Northern Nevada.

Rob: 10:17

We're right now working on getting it here in the Fort Worth area. We have a church that we partner with here very locally. And then as we get through that piece, there'll be areas for the facilitators to come and get get trained and go through that. Ultimately, we would love to see this everywhere. But also, we are also working on a the counseling back end to support the biblical counselors who are going to need to be available for this.

Rob: 10:43

That's our biggest fear in as we got came into this ministry is how do you give couples something, like you said, that's gonna unravel and then someone has to be there as as God puts those pieces back together Yeah. And supports them through that. And what we didn't wanna do is just throw some self help Yeah. Or self help stuff out there

Mike: 11:02

Yeah.

Rob: 11:03

That that ends up leaving Meredith's worse often when they started.

Richard: 11:06

So there'd be 3 other couples and a facilitator couple. And and what we've had happened is they become incredibly close friends doing life together. This is what the whole intention behind this is is because we need people to do life with.

Mike: 11:22

Yeah.

Richard: 11:22

Because in that group, now just in the last 4 months, the ups and downs that have taken place and the truth that has come out because they've trusted one another and they have the support to pull these couples through their their really challenging moments has been amazing to be a part of. So we aren't necessarily in that group. We help facilitate it. We help, you know, set it up, and now we get to watch and see what God does with them. And it's, the relationships that they have are incredible.

Richard: 11:54

And these are young couples. Yeah. With young children, those challenge those really challenging days, at least that's the way we see it is when those kids are 5 to 14 years old

Mike: 12:05

Mhmm.

Richard: 12:05

Then we didn't really have anybody to help us walk through those moments. So to have 3 other couples and a 4th being in that and the facilitators are the ones that actually hit the had to hit the ground. Like, they are the ones that needed the support.

Mike: 12:20

Yeah.

Richard: 12:21

Because a whole lot of their stuff is what came out. So we're not about being perfect either.

Mike: 12:25

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Richard: 12:26

The this isn't about you coming in and you have to be perfect to be a facilitator.

Mike: 12:29

Yeah.

Richard: 12:30

The whole point is you're gonna be raw, real, and and put it out there.

Mike: 12:33

Yeah. I think the facilitator to your point is one who's just been a little further down the road than you, who's aware of those things, who has a level of awareness, on those things and allows you to, experientially speaking, facilitate because they just haven't experienced it yet. Yeah. Yeah. That's good.

Rob: 12:50

And I could speak a little to to the book, the last two chapters of the book. You when you get to that that harmony piece and the book provides this what's next kind of now that now you're you feel you're feeling confident in understanding your relationship with your spouse you have this shared meaning in your relationship. God has revealed a purpose to you hopefully at some point. The last two chapters are what does that harmony in marriage look like? It looks like it does.

Rob: 13:17

It looks like your marriage becoming a ministry. It looks like you you becoming and and being called to mentor others. Marriage, like Richard said, these are these are things that cannot happen in isolation. God did not intend for anything to happen in isolation. And to to speak to what he said, the couples that we might have seen previously just disappear and fall off the face of the earth in crisis are now turning.

Rob: 13:41

Even the facilitator couples themselves turning to their group and saying, we need help right now, and the group coming around them. And because as biblical counselors, I've always said our one of our first core beliefs that we need to get out there is our role is to restore these fallen people to the body of Christ. Yeah. Because that's where they're going to where their health is going to play out and be be challenged and be be restored. You know, we're just we're just guides in that process.

Rob: 14:16

And so once we see them plugged in and once we see them actually participating in the body, they know exactly where to go when they're hurting.

Mike: 14:22

Yeah.

Rob: 14:23

And and it can't just be a one off counseling thing. They need to be in their community.

Mike: 14:28

Yeah. Because counseling in and of itself can become very isolated as well. So yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Mike: 14:32

That's a good point. It's good. Any final thoughts on just where to get this, when you got this kicking off again so that we can in anticipation that we can have this for our listeners?

Rob: 14:42

Yeah. We have a we're gonna be starting another class in in June. We're doing, like Richard said, for a year. Anyone that's interested is more than welcome. I believe we're gonna be talking to our team here in in in Dallas to to see about getting this up and running this year as well.

Rob: 14:58

And it's available on Amazon. You you guy whoever wants more information, just contact the ministry and we will get them whatever they need.

Richard: 15:05

June 7th through 9th will be the next marriage encounter in Lake Tahoe. Hey. If you're if you're looking to have a reason to come to Lake Tahoe, that might be a good one. And, and it's well worthwhile. So June 7th through 9th, the the harmony and marriage class itself, we haven't I don't think we've set the exact date for that next kickoff, but, that'll be put on the website as well here very soon.

Mike: 15:28

That's really good. That's really good. I also like the acrostic hymn because it's about him, and it's all in caps. I like that. Yeah.

Mike: 15:34

Really good. That's awesome. Alright. Well, thank you, Rob. I appreciate it.

Mike: 15:38

Encounter Ministries, you guys. Again, I'll put all this in the show notes. We appreciate you guys. And, again, for you listeners, you can, check us out. Speak the truth dot org.

Mike: 15:46

And then also anything you'd like for us to to record, just email us at topics at speak the truth dot org. Thank you for listening. We'll see you next time.